Just checkin' in...

I'll be back - we had a great Memorial Day picnic at the farm. I have some photos, but work is calling my name loudly. I'll get back to you all .....

My son Adam

Ok, I'm putting it out there. Here's my oldest son, Adam Fears, Nashville singer/songwriter/future star hopeful. This is HIS story. I don't like to brag cuz all moms of talented kids brag about their kids. But he's good, he's really good. Check his My Space out and you can listen to some of his music. www.myspace.com/adamwfears I tried to put a link over on the right side of my blog, but haven't figured out how to link it up yet... Adam came into this world singing, talking, memorizing music, ditties, cartoons, commercials, you name it, demanding to be the center of attention. We got him his first guitar when he was 12 - an electric guitar.

Some of the kids at school probably thought he was goofy - I know his teachers got tired of making him sit in the hall cuz he wouldn't shut up in their classes (but that's a whole 'nuther story). He decided to become a musician - it's all he's ever wanted to do. In middle school, he decided to play his guitar and sing in the end of school talent show. The kids said, "yeah, right!" Well, in our middle school gym, with parents and kids all packed in and the amps turned way up, he blew them away with his rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama". Everybody was on their feet, kids and parents alike, clapping and singing along with him. He played extra choruses at the end cuz everybody was having so much fun. Were his dad and I proud? Did we wanna tell all those kids that thought he was goofy "see there? How's that!"

After the program ended, Adam later told me, "Mom, that was the best feeling in the world! I was a little nervous at first, but hearing all the people yell and scream and sing with me and knowing that they were happy and clapping for me - well it was GREAT!" From then on, he has had this dream in mind. If he was good enough, he was going to give music a try. He was always in band, a band nerd, and played the bass horn in the Fightin'Texas Aggie Band at TEXAS A&M (whoop). He had his own band, the Brazos Valley Band, at College Station and they were regulars at Hurricane Harry's and Texas Hall of Fame and other places down there. They played at weddings, private parties, concerts and even did a little touring. In his Jr year of college, Adam cut his first CD (at his own expense I might add) in Garland, TX. Sold a bunch of them at all his concerts. He's played with several leading Texas stars. His grandad, through a friend of a friend, got one of Adam's CDs to Faverett Music Group in Nashville. They liked him and called him up to see them. They wanted to hire him on the spot as a singer/songwriter. Adam gave it some long deep thought and prayer and decided that he needed to finish college first (whew) and they told him that when he graduated, to come and see them. He's been there for 2 years now.

He absolutely loves music, breathes, eats & drinks it in. He's a natural on stage, a born entertainer with charisma. He's really into Country/Southern Rock music. He can tear the guitar, any guitar, up. He plays Stevie Ray Vaughn, 70's rock, and country like you wouldn't believe. He's since completed another CD and released his first single "You Get Me" last year on Texas Country Music with more to come. He consistently writes with other professional writers and performs all over Nashville and travels surrounding states with his band and also fills in on lead and rhythm guitar with other bands. He's currently finding a niche for himself playing Texas Country on Broadway in Nashville at Full Moon Saloon.

We're hopeful for him to realize his dream. This is the time to do it while he's young and unencumbered. This business is scarey. But Adam has a good head on his shoulders and he's a devoted Christian young man and determined not to let the music scene suck him into the lifestyle. He says that when it's no longer fun and when he feels that activities or people may compromise his Christian morals, then he'll be coming home to Texas. That is my most fervent prayer. I miss him so. He and I were thick as thieves - we had 4 years together before his brother was born. Still are extremely close. It's been the hardest thing for me to do is to let go. Thank goodness for cell phones.

Well, there you have it. We'll see what happens - I just pray for God's will for his life, as well as the lives of my other two kids. I'm proud of all 3 of my kids, altho Adam's situation is unique and his sibs are extremely proud of him, too. I only want their happiness, but most of all that they live a life pleasing to the Lord. It's so easy to get sidetracked when you're young - happens all the time. New talented young folks in Nashville are a dime a dozen, but he's got a good start so we'll see where it takes him. He say's he'll give it a few years, but if nothing happens, he's not going to waste his time. He's ready to get on with real life, with a home and family. Can't do it right now.

Ok, I'm done - done braggin'. Here's a college photo of him. Changed alittle bit, hadn' he? I sorta like this look better. He's taken to wearing his cowboy hat again - which I like. He's trying to be himself and not conform too much to the Nashville look. He did for awhile, now he's coming back into his own and being comfortable in his own skin, boots, & cowboy clothes.

I'll shut up now. I'll have to profile my other 2 one of these days. They might get jealous... Vickie

Nothing much going on...

Well, here's a little funny pic for you today since I don't have any new photos yet. This was taken in Playa del Carmen at a restaurant - this was the big finish to the meal!!! I have my rifle and my bottle of tequila - they made pictures of all of us like that! (and those are not my fat legs!!! THey are stuffed jeans!)

Well, let's see, hmmmmm, what can I talk about today? Well, just been busy at work mainly. I haven't taken any new photos of anything lately. My hubby was out of town over the weekend and I didn't get to spend much time at the farm. I guess I mainly just wanted to let you all know that YES, I'M STILL HERE. I've been reading some of your blogs, but haven't had much to say.

My anxiety reared its ugly head over the last few days, and I tend to ball up in a little knot and lay low and stay that way until it passes. I feel better today.

One good thing. Our little farmhouse was on propane and we converted to all electric, which meant we had this ugly tank in the back yard for the last year. Well, I ran an ad in the Thrifty Nickel and sold it today! They are coming to pick it up Friday!!! YEA!!! I'm so sick of looking at that thing. Right smack dab in the middle of the yard - what an eyesore!

In the garden, I have a mole or two. They like my potatoes, and have left several tunnels through the dirt. I've set traps but so far, they've evaded them. The carrots and onions are doing great. The purple hull peas are not growing very well. We've had a lot of rain, but I really don't think that's the reason. Dad and I bought all our seed at the same place, and I'm wondering if we got some bad seed - cuz he said HIS peas were not doing well either. Hmmmmm... The weeds are doing great, on the other hand! My cucumbers & tomatoes are finally beginning to grow. The local farmer's market has everything for sale already, but I got my garden out late.

We're hoping to have a big get-together Memorial Day at the farm with a cookout for a bunch of our friends from church. They say slight chance of rain - we'll see... I'm looking forward to it immensely. We've had a couple of people out besides family, but this will be the big "unveiling" to all of our friends who've waited patiently for an invite. They've all been talking about it for the last few months, and we decided we better do it before it gets too hot. This week, we are seeing temps in the 90's, I think 94 yesterday? Wow - a little early in May for that, but I'd rather it be hot than cold. I used to be the other way around, but it's wierd how that changes when you get a little older... but I'm not old yet, of course :)

Well, that's all for today. I've finished the pile of almonds here that I brought for lunch, so I guess I better get back to work. My husband comes and eats with me at my office most days and it's nice to see him in the middle of the day. Plus, it saves money bringing our lunch instead of eating out everyday like some do. Have a great day, all! Vickie

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Here's a picture of me, my hubby, and 2 of my 3 kids in Playa del Carmen. The only "mom" photo on my work computer...I think the following has been floating around the internet, and email, but I thought it was so good, and it touched me today when I read it. I don't know who to give credit to for writing it, but I hope you will enjoy it. I get to feeling so invisible and unappreciated as a mom sometimes and I know you all do, too. I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day.

Invisible Mothers:
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It wasalmost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.Great Job, MOM!Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did.

Roses

I went a little rose crazy this weekend. You can stop on lots of street corners when you go to Tyler, TX (the Rose Capital of the World) and buy a dozen roses for $2.50. Not generally the longstemmed variety, but still beautiful for bouquets. I bought several dozen this past weekend on my way through Tyler and put them all over the farmhouse. I love roses. I had such a lovely fragrance in the house this weekend. I put them in every room. Mostly pinks, but did buy some red ones, too. I wanted yellow, but they were out at the stop I went to.

Here's pink roses in the Princess's room in a little vintage ceramic rose pitcher that came from great cousin Dorice. It has eight little bitty teacups that go with it. Isn't it adorable?

It usually sits in the china cabinet, but I pulled it out and thought it made a great vase for these roses.

See this great vintage bedtray? What a find! I went to an estate sale last week. It was a good sale - I think this is the one that I called Margo about and asked if it was good - I knew she'd probably beat me there. She said yes, it was loaded. So I went. I found a few items like some steak knives for the farmhouse which I didn't have yet and a couple of plates, some doilies (Hubby is going to scream if I buy any more doilies), and a tea pitcher. I went out to the garage at the sale and spied a lady carrying this cute bedtray around. She kept looking at it like she wasn't sure she actually wanted it. I tried to look inconspicuous as I followed her around the sale. I hope she didn't notice me drooling and shadowing her. She went around one way and I headed her off at the pass darting through another room. I probably looked like that ferret I compared myself to one time way back slinking in and out trying to keep tabs on her. After about 20 minutes tailing her, I saw her make her way back to the garage. Aha! She gave the tray one last longing look before putting it back where she probably picked it up. She meandered off another direction, and I closed in for the KILL, snatched it up and hugged it to my chest! It was MINE! and for only $3!!! What a steal! It's so cute - vintage green and it has a rose applique or decal on one corner. It has legs that fold out, OR a little wedge you can stand it up on, and read a book on it. It has a few little dings on it, but it only adds character of course, but it works great! I cleaned it up and will display it proudly in my farmhouse and use it from time to time! It also folds up completely and could be used for a smashing tea tray! Lucky ME!

More pink roses and some red ones, too, on the little table in my living room. Like my crooked silver candlestick??? Garage sale...

After the weekend, I tied all the dozens up into ribbons and hung them upside down. I'm sure some the petals will fall off, and I can put them in little dishes for pot pourri, but they usually will stay intact enough to tie a beautiful ribbon on and hang upside down on the wall or put in a vase. I love dried roses.

I hope you had a great weekend. We did. Stayed at the farm, worked in the garden, and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine. Heard some great messages at church on Sunday.

As I look back at the beautiful colors on these roses, it always amazes me at the variety of color that God created. He didn't have to make us such a technicolor world but HE did, and I'm so glad! What a blessing vision is, too. How people can look around them and not notice nature and all the abounding variety of plant and animal life and the abundance of color and not believe in God is beyond me. How all the physical things and ecosystems work together in perfect harmony - it's way over my head. It's way over all our heads - it's heavenly. Vickie

Kid stuff

Paladin - Remember this guy??? From the 50's??? Man, HE was my hero. I was four years old. I came into this world LOVING horses, cowboys and indians. My momma and daddy bought me a beautiful palomino spring horse - a nice one - a big one - not one of those little bitty ones - when I was four. Actually I think Santa brought it. Anyway, I loved Paladin. Santa brought me a black cowboy outfit - black jeans, red shirt with REAL black fringe (I loved fringe), black cowboy boots with red stitching, a black hat, AND a black holster with silver six-guns. I had a black bandana, too. I WAS Paladin. I watched every single episode at 4 years old, and rode my horse through the entire thing and dreamed of being like Paladin. Remember the song??? " '... Have gun, will travel ' " reads the card of a man, A Knight without honor in a savage land... " He always got his man! (I have a photo of me as Paladin, but my scanner is not working on my printer... darn. I need a new one. ) I was very cute - my momma said - I had white blonde hair that fell into tight little ringlets that she couldn't hardly get a brush through. It's still curly, and I fight with it on a daily basis.

Don't know what brought this up except that I was cruising some other blogs the other day, and one of them, (sorry I don't remember which) was talking about things they used to play as a child. I didn't much play with dolls. I was a tomboy. Me, my sister, and our two best friends across the street played Tarzan and chimps, Cowboys and Indians, motorcycle gangs with cardboard clipped to our bicycle spokes, and regularly scoured the neighborhood creeks for crawdads and minnows and got stitches and poison ivy. We caught all kinds of lizards - my favorite - the horny toad, which you can hardly find anymore cuz they are losing their habitat. We caught birds, and I even had a pet squirrel named Shorty, with half a tail, my daddy brought home from a hunting trip.

I had a Troll house and lots of trolls - do those count as dolls? I also had a bunch of Liddle Kiddles. Remember those little guys? They were fun to collect. I did have a few dolls but they mostly laid in their cradle and got dusty...

I was not very ladylike, I'm afraid. But I had the best fun. My friend across the street became a neo-natologist - she's a genius, literally and a prodigy on the piano. But she never married - she's married to her career. I fancy I must be happier to have all these people I love in my life - my husband and children. But I'm sure she's happy helping so many little babies and families, too.

Guess I became a little more lady-like when I became interested in boys - but not till I was about 15 - I was a late bloomer. I hated growing boobs, and periods and bras and all that girl crap. What an inconvenience and what a pain! I wanted to be a boy so bad (it had nothing to do with being a transexual or anything - I just didn't want to act girly). I hated when the girls started wearing make-up and bras and dressing up and flirting with the boys, cuz I didn't want to do that yet, and I felt pressured to keep up with the others. I was SO uncomfortable. They all seemed so GOOD at being a girl - I always felt awkward and stupid. I guess I did okay, tho...

Now, I wouldn't trade places with any man on this earth! Oh, the complete and utter joy of giving birth to a little one. HOW IN THE WORLD can you love anything more than your own baby??? After my first one, I wondered how could I have enough love for the second one. Could I really love him as much as the first? That question was answered immediately when the nurse put Josh in my arms. I guess it's the same for the 10th baby as for the second. You love them all. Your heart always has enough love in it for more. AND what's more - to think that God loves us more than we love our own babies? How can that be? My love for my kids is infinite, just like I know yours is. Wow, I can hardly wrap my brain around that thought.....