Hello 2015, Goodbye 2014

Caution:  Long Post w pics...

Where oh where do I begin?  Where do I start?  I left you all here in blogland, friends, to mourn the loss of my sister, Lisa, and just flat lost my blogging mojo.  Still not sure if it's back yet, tho, so be patient with me.  Time will tell...  Grief kinda comes in waves...

In February, it'll be two years since we learned of Lisa's cancer, and our world turned upside down and sideways.  I HATED that she had to go through the surgery, hated that she had to endure the chemo which in the end didn't really help, hated that she had pain and suffering especially those last few months.  But, we had almost a year and a half to share, to love, to talk, to laugh, to cry, to hold each other, to pray together and with our parents and our families.  We saw family members mend some hurt feelings and broken bonds and we all drew together as a family. Now, we've always been a close tight family, but you can't all be perfect all the time.  Lisa's undaunting faith in the Lord and love impacted us all.  Little things that used to bother me DO NOT MATTER.  What matters is our love for God and our love for each other. That's all.

Lisa and I have always been connected at the hip.  How we could grow any closer is hard to fathom, but grow closer we did.  We had to get down to the nitty gritty and talk about some really hard stuff.  Her kids first and foremost.  All five of our kids belonged to both of us.  Tony and I now have all five of these grown kids to call our own.

With Lisa, nothing was left unspoken, no love or feelings were not expressed, no tears cried together were not cried.  I guess that's the thing with an extended illness - having time to say goodbye.  Would that I could have gone through this for my little sister. Our parents have really had a hard time.  It's not for me or us to understand except that we live in a fallen world.  And if there were no pain and suffering, we would not need the love and saving grace of God. There was no pain or sorrow in the world when God created it - it was only when sin entered the garden and the world that the perfect became imperfect.  We need the Lord desperately, and when we go through these times (and we all will) He promises to be with us and help us through.  We will understand in the great by and by.  Lisa's favorite verses...

Isaiah 40:31New International Version (NIV)

31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

My sister is soaring on wings like eagles and her strength has been renewed!!!

We shared SO much, sometimes we would even call each other at the same time or look at each other with unspoken words that we didn't need and KNOW what the other was thinking. One of the most wonderful things that we shared besides our faith is that we both became first time grandmothers in 2014.  Lisa didn't get to see her little grandson make his grand entrance nor did she see my little granddaughter.  But Tony said that perhaps she got to hold and love on both of them in heaven - that's comforting and I like to think that.  It makes me happy to think about her holding both of those babies before we ever got to!  I'm sharing a pic of Lisa's little Gauge, and one of my little Isabella. My daughter in law and son gave Bella my sister's middle name, much to my delight!  Of course, that brought happy tears and I know it would be a hoot for Lisa to know that!

Gauge

Isabella

The Lord is SO GOOD to us!  These two little babies have been a huge band-aid on our broken hearts!  There IS Joy in the midst of pain and sorrow!  Joy that we know that Lisa awaits us in Heaven, and Joy and thankfulness that God has brought these two little miracles into our lives at a time when we needed them most.  

So...  I want to end this long post on a good note, with a heavy but joyful heart feeling immersed in God's love and comfort upon our families at this time.  Thank you, my blog friends, for all your love and prayers and well wishes that have come my way in these past two years.  I'm looking forward to 2015!  

Commentary by a Friend

http://doublenickelfarm.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-wonder_27.html

You simply MUST hop over and read this post by Jennifer.  It came from 2009, I believe, but she reposted it. It's simple, to the point, and highly thought-provoking.  I stand and applaud her.  She put very eloquently what I think and feel every single day.  Tell her I sent you... Thanks!

Merry Christmas to All My Blog Buddies!!!

We'll be Christmasing for the next few days at least, but I wanted to check in and wish you all a wonderful season of home, family, friends, giving, peace, joy and love for the Savior as we remember His Holy Birth. God gave us the best gift of all - His precious Son, and this gift was totally free - just because of His great love while we were still sinners!  It's almost too much to comprehend!  Rejoice, Rejoice and praise His Holy Name!!!  Sending my love and best wishes to you all for a spectacular Christmas and a Happy New Year!

And Merry Christmas from Alice, the washing machine cat!!!

And it's a chilly 78 degrees here today!!!

PS - Edited to add - NOPE IT'S 81 DEGREES HERE!!!

Mema

Ok, let's see where I can go with today's post... hmmmm.... Been doin' some visitin' around, but it's been crazy busy at our house with MIL in the hospital. Mema was moved to rehab yesterday. Threw a fit and they had to call my husband to talk to her.  I think she'll actually like the rehab place alot more than the hospital. It's quieter, she'll have the same nurse and aide every day, therapy twice a day - which she's NOT going to like. 

I met her caregivers yesterday, and they seemed so kind and sweet and caring.  I stayed long enough and so did my husband to observe how gentle they handled her.  The hospital folks are so overworked and busy, they just didn't have the time for any extra spoiling except to do their job.  Plus, these new caregivers get to know their patients - they are assigned to certain ones and just those few.  Change is so hard with Alzheimers, as most of you know. And bless her heart, she's had to change SO much during this past year.

She's getting quieter. She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to. She's content most of the time, or WAS in her Memory Care Facility. She enjoys her family even if she's quiet and she doesn't like to be out of her apartment even to come to our house for very long. I have to say tho that she loves going to church with us.   She keeps to herself, doesn't much like being around the other people in her facility. Most of them are even worse off than she is and she senses that there is a difference. She likes to stay in her apartment, watch the country music station (she says she's waiting on my son to appear on there), do a few crossword puzzles or read her Bible and sleep.  We see her everyday.

Here's my sweet mother in law and me at a recent activity they had at her facility.  There are different church groups around town that go the nursing homes and sing & play music, and my mother's church choir group came and sang this particular day. So we went to listen.  Even my daughter came.

                         

I have to say that I've had the sweetest mother in law that you could ever have. Both my in-laws have been such a blessing in my life and in the lives of my children.  She adores them.  Mema and Bepa had no other grandkids but mine and so they fairly doted on them.  It's been so wonderful, as I've said before, to have positive reinforcement on raising Christian children in the form of grandparents, including my parents, too. My kids have had that Christian influence on both sides, and we never had to worry about babysitters.  The Lord has really blessed our family.

I've often wondered what it would be like to not have family. My husband has a woman about my age that works at his office. Her parents are gone, she has no husband, no siblings - NO ONE. How sad is that? She doesn't have a church family either for she is not a religious person.  How in the world can one get by in this life without God, first of all, but without a family?  How lonely that must feel.  I've had this heavy weight on my heart lately for these folks that are without.  I know there must be plenty.

We as Christians who have a physical family, a loving Father and a church family need to reach out to these people.  They CAN have a heavenly Father who will love them more than any earthly father can, and they CAN have a church family to be there for encouragement, love and support and to take away the lonliness that they sometimes must feel. I know most churches now have singles ministries, but what can we do on a daily basis to help these folks to feel loved & valued?

OK, I'm preaching to myself today. I'm guilty of thinking of these things and then letting the time go by and not actually doing anything.  Shame on me. I remind myself that if I do these things unto the least of my brethren then I'm doing it for Him.  My daughter is learning to step out of her comfort zone - I've got to step out of mine.