Main item - we have been searching and have found an assisted living/memory care facility for my MIL. She cannot stay by herself any longer. She's been takin her exercise by walkin in the heat of the day (and we've been havin 100+ temps the last couple of weeks), she goes out at midnite (the neighbors tell us) and checks her mailbox. There's probably no tellin WHAT she's been doin that we don't know about. We've been dreadin this day for a long time. As long as Tony's dad was alive, she had someone there with her. My FIL has been gone a couple of months now, and we wanted to see how she did alone. If she didn't go walkin and go out at night, she would've been fine for awhile longer. She can certainly take care of herself and her home.
We found a really nice place that actually doesn't look like a nursing home at all. It looks like an upscale ground level apartment complex that is enclosed with a beautiful courtyard in the middle, places to walk, all kinds of activities, very caring staff, and happy residents her own age.
It's only 2 years old and it looks like some kind of mountain lodge - very attractive decor. We took her to visit yesterday afternoon and eat supper there, and she was very impressed with everything. After about 30 minutes, she realized why we were there, and she started poutin and givin Tony EVIL glares. He should have had a hole burned right thru his head by her mean staring and clenched teeth.
Anyway, it was an answer to prayers, and Tony & I both looked at each other when we left out the front door and said "this is IT!" We were in total agreement on everything about the place.
The best thing is that if/when MIL becomes worse with her dementia/Alzheimers, they move her to their own Alzheimers unit, switch her furniture from her apartment to one in the A. unit, and it makes a very easy transition, as it's all done while she's out of her apt., and they set up the new apt. just like the old one. She may think something's a little different, but she won't be able to figure it out. We move her tomorrow - pray for us - she WILL be angry and upset, but we know that's to be expected.
Also, we're gettin Josh ready for his trip to England to do a foreign study program for the rest of the summer. There's alot to do on that, too. He and my daughter will finish up the first semester of summer classes next week, thank goodness.
We've been havin to go the farm nearly everyday, too, to water the garden and all the trees/shrubs/flowers. It's been SO HOT AND DRY here. My fruit trees look wilted, my corn didn't make, too hot, the squash & zucchini have quit bearing, etc. It's like they all can't get enough water. That old bermuda grass out there is all brown, but a quick little rain'll bring it back out immediately.
I've put up another dozen quarts of pickles - we DID do well on cucumbers this year. The tomatoes are comin in now, and I need to put some in the freezer. I have some more green beans about ready, too. This gardenin business is sure time-consuming, but I love it. It's physical, it's calming to my nerves, and it gives me such pleasure to see and eat the fruits of my labor.
I'll post some pics of my sunflowers tomorrow maybe. I DID get alot of sunflowers to grow this year, and I took some pretty good pics of em, even if I do say so myself. Sorry I didn't have any cool photos to show you today. Just boring reading material. Let's see if there's something on this here computer at work to let you look at....
Where is this beautiful, dreamy place, you say? http://www.elmwoodgardens.com/ Elmwood Gardens, just outside of Palestine, TX. My little photos don't do it justice. It's a beautiful area where they have brought lots of old buildings, cottages, there are fountains, pavillions, flowers galore, vegetable gardens, horses & carriages, a place to have get togethers, honeymoon in the cottages, get married on the grounds, have bands play at your wedding, have a reception and dance, OR you could have some other kind of get together! You MUST see the website. My daughter was invited to model in a bridal show out there a couple of years ago and I ran across these photos. It's only about 45 minutes from us, and it would be a wonderful, romantic place to get married. The cottages are all decked out in antiques, quilts, shabby everything and the bathrooms have old clawfoot tubs. They did it all up right! It's beautiful! Check it out!
12 comments:
Wonderful location for a wedding... Gee, you seem to be so caught up thinking about weddings.
Your mother-in-law may be terribly unhappy, but in your hearts, you must know that you have done the best thing possible for her. I hope that she really enjoys it there and that there are so many fun things for her to do that she'll forgive you quickly. It's not easy for anyone. You must have read Suzanne's post for today...very timely in light of your situation.
I have been there myself with my aunt. She never wanted to go to an assisted living facility, but when the time came I had no choice. Once she was there a few days she never asked to leave. In fact, she begin to think it was home. Sounds like this place is wonderful.
I'm so glad you got her settled somewhere safe. It's hard..but it's the best thing!
I know what a hard decision this is as I recently went through it with my mom. I had to constantly remind myself that the most important thing was that she lived in a safe environment. It sounds like you have found a very nice place for her to live. I like the way they make the transition into memory care. When my mom had to make that move we had to do all of the moving. I will say a prayer for you that all goes well.
Love the new picture on your header. Sorry to hear about the sad circumstances surrounding your MIL-been there with my own mom a long time back; it isn't an easy decision. We'll all be there some day. I hope I don't live that long!
Debbie
PS: did you raise any crowder peas this year in your garden? I just love those things with a slice of onion and cornbread. Another thing about Texas to miss!
Debbie
lovely pictures and I know all too well exactly what you are going through with the older generation - both my parents had to be "moved" and it was so distressing. but they were safe and well cared for - my brother was there every single day to check on them. Hard to grow old - takes a brave person. One dear friend said her beloved grandmother had Alzheimer's and reached the point of not recognizing the family members - but she'd just smile and say - I don't know you but I KNOW my Jesus.
I am praying for you. How are you spending the 4th of July???...hugs..m..
What a big decision to make. Did you happen to see ABC show last night featuring a family that had to make some decisions regarding their mother with Alzheimers? Unfortunately for the poor lady in this piece, her son and his new wife did NOT make any good decisions for her, but the woman did end up with her sister, a very good thing. When I am old and needy ( if I get that far along ) I hope my grown children will be like you and yours.
Incidentally, ABC Nightline showed a 12 minute test that helps us young'uns to experience what it is like to function with the impediments many older folks have...very enlightening.
Elmwood Gardens is beautiful!
Glad you found a nice place for your MIL.
Thanks for showing the pics from Elmwood Gardens. I went to a wedding there once - but it was pouring down rain and freezing cold! Forced the wedding and reception inside. I felt sorry for the bride, but alls well that ends well - they just had their first baby a couple of months ago.
Have a great weekend!
I love the website you featured and just had to check it out. Hope all goes well with your MIL, I'm sure you are making the best decision for her. Have a Happy 4th, T
"Shabby everything," I would be in dreamland! The funny thing is, I love "shabby" but after years of looking at it, it begins to look just that way to me. LOL.
On a more serious note, one of our good friends is also on the alzheimer's boat. She requires constant attention now from her husband, and he is weary but doing fantatic. I see where he will need help in the near future. There will come a time when her safety is more important than her pouting about moving to a safer place. I am sure you feel the same way. It has to be a very difficult decision. It sounds like you fortunately found a much better place than the typical home. Prayers for that!
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