I met her caregivers yesterday, and they seemed so kind and sweet and caring. I stayed long enough and so did my husband to observe how gentle they handled her. The hospital folks are so overworked and busy, they just didn't have the time for any extra spoiling except to do their job. Plus, these new caregivers get to know their patients - they are assigned to certain ones and just those few. Change is so hard with Alzheimers, as most of you know. And bless her heart, she's had to change SO much during this past year.
She's getting quieter. She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to. She's content most of the time, or WAS in her Memory Care Facility. She enjoys her family even if she's quiet and she doesn't like to be out of her apartment even to come to our house for very long. I have to say tho that she loves going to church with us. She keeps to herself, doesn't much like being around the other people in her facility. Most of them are even worse off than she is and she senses that there is a difference. She likes to stay in her apartment, watch the country music station (she says she's waiting on my son to appear on there), do a few crossword puzzles or read her Bible and sleep. We see her everyday.
Here's my sweet mother in law and me at a recent activity they had at her facility. There are different church groups around town that go the nursing homes and sing & play music, and my mother's church choir group came and sang this particular day. So we went to listen. Even my daughter came.
I have to say that I've had the sweetest mother in law that you could ever have. Both my in-laws have been such a blessing in my life and in the lives of my children. She adores them. Mema and Bepa had no other grandkids but mine and so they fairly doted on them. It's been so wonderful, as I've said before, to have positive reinforcement on raising Christian children in the form of grandparents, including my parents, too. My kids have had that Christian influence on both sides, and we never had to worry about babysitters. The Lord has really blessed our family.
I've often wondered what it would be like to not have family. My husband has a woman about my age that works at his office. Her parents are gone, she has no husband, no siblings - NO ONE. How sad is that? She doesn't have a church family either for she is not a religious person. How in the world can one get by in this life without God, first of all, but without a family? How lonely that must feel. I've had this heavy weight on my heart lately for these folks that are without. I know there must be plenty.
We as Christians who have a physical family, a loving Father and a church family need to reach out to these people. They CAN have a heavenly Father who will love them more than any earthly father can, and they CAN have a church family to be there for encouragement, love and support and to take away the lonliness that they sometimes must feel. I know most churches now have singles ministries, but what can we do on a daily basis to help these folks to feel loved & valued?
OK, I'm preaching to myself today. I'm guilty of thinking of these things and then letting the time go by and not actually doing anything. Shame on me. I remind myself that if I do these things unto the least of my brethren then I'm doing it for Him. My daughter is learning to step out of her comfort zone - I've got to step out of mine.
26 comments:
Great post today Vickie...as always!
Your daughter is lovely. You are so blessed. So am I. Sometimes I don't even realize how blessed I am until someone else points it out.
Just think what the world would be like if we all stepped out of our comfort zone and helped another out? Hmmmm....
Hugs,
Tara
Since you're the one asking the questions, I'm sure you'll be the one to get some answers. And I know that we can count on you to fill the rest of us in. What lovely ladies you all are. You and your daughter look so much alike! Your mother-in-law's sweet spirit shines through. May she truly know the comfort of the Lord in this place and for this season.
Well, maybe your MIL can settle in to her "new normal" now and I know that will ease your mind.
I am also blessed beyond measure.
She is a beautiful lady and it sounds like her grand love her a lot. This is such a hard thing for her and all of you to be going through...been there...just love her no matter what..you will gain from this too and when she is gone, she will be missed greatly. It's an awesome thing that God put us in families..to help each other through this life. What a blessing to know we will be families in the next life too...Come say hi :D
What a beautiful Daughter you have. She is certainly her Mother's Daughter.
Best wishes that your M-I-Law will settle in to her [for awhile] new constant. And that she'll be able to understand the good, in therapy.
Gentle hugs...
A very sweet and reflective post. It is an interesting time in which we live. All of the ability we have to up and move across country, often leaving behind those who can be our strongest support system. That is one thing that has kept us firmly planted in PA. Otherwise, I know my desire to explore and do new things would have taken us all over the place.
Praying that your Mother-in-law finds reasons to feel comfortable in her temporary surroundings. You reminded me that when my Father-in-law suffered his traumatic brain injury he loved to watch the Country Music Channel. He had never done that before and we all found it very fascinating.
Hugs to you today....
Becky K.
This is a very lovely and thoughtful post. You are lucky to have family around to help. Still praying for all of you. Sue
Thanks for your thoughtful post today .....
I enjoyed your "preaching to yourself" and picked right up on the statement about stepping out of your comfort zone. I truly appreciate friends, especially Christian friends. Loving reminders of what we should be doing.
Your MIL is a beautiful person. Such a blessing. And so are you and your daughter.
Mary
Wonderful post! I so agree with you and am glad you put all of this into words.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/
your fortunate that your MIL is peaceful...my FIL has dimentia..and he is a handful...he really tries our patients sometimes...and has a very negative attitude...so count your blessings....you have a sweet family...
Having lived through the long goodbyes with my Father's alzheimer's and my mother's series of small then BIG strokes - I know how you feel on so many levels. My brother and his wife were the primary caregivers for our parents - they did an incredible job - both efficient and compassionate. Yes - there are many people with NO ONE - and just a smile, a kind question about How Are YOU? and wait for a real answer. Invite someone who has no family to your house for a holiday meal - we used to call our Thanksgivings and Easters "The widders and orphans gathering" - we were always more blessed than the tiny bit of effort seemed to warrant.
You are a good woman Vickie - a proverbs 31 kinda gal!
Hi Vickie,
What an inspiration you are to me and so many others, who may be going through this same thing. I'm sure that your MIL finds great comfort in knowing that she will see you everyday - it's scary for our sweet mom's to have to accept change, especially with Alzheimers or dementia.
I depend on my Heavenly Father for so much on a daily basis, I can't imagine not having that constant love in my life to help me through.
Keep us informed so we can pray for your family and your sweet MIL.
Hugs,
Barb
P.S. You and your daughter are so beautiful!
Wonderful post, Vickie!
Thank you!
Nice post and I enjoyed the sermon. Go ahead and preach to yourself and please share with us. Your're MIL is blessed to have you in her life. I hope that she finds peace in her new temporary home.
You are blessed with a lovely mother in law and she is equally blessed to have a wonderful, caring daughter in law! Sounds like she's spending her time doing all the right things, things that will keep her comforted. This would be a good example of one of the reasons we should pray diligently about our children's future spouses to be loving, Godly people. They may end up taking care of us one day! Have a wonderful week!
great post....Barb
What a sweet post! Brought back memories for me of my mom. She has been gone now four years. She suffered from dementia, but remained calm, precious, and loving. That was a blessing.
Loved this post, Vickie. Your daughter is so pretty and your MIL looks sweet. I hope she will settle into her new surroundings and I hope she will get to see your son appear on the country music station......soon! blessings,Kathleen
Oh Vickie, I love the pictures, three beautiful women!! Your MIL has such a gentle and sweet smile.
I'm blown away by the names Mema and Bepa. David's mom and dad were called Mema and Bepa by us and their grandchildren. They died 6 years ago, within a few months of one another, and I still miss them so much.
How right you are about Alzheimer's and changes.....
It's so good to hear that Memas been moved to the re-hab..it sounds like she's getting excellent care.
Vickie,.....I betcha your stepping out of your comfort zone and helping others and you just don't realize it.....
Hugs,
Dolores
Such a wonderful testament to your mother in law. Great MILs are hard to find and it looks like you got the best.
It takes a caring person to visit someone (anyone) who is ill daily. What a special gal you are and rest assured, I know your MIL recognizes that. Your daughter is gorgeous; I pray your loving spirit is passed on to your children.
Hugs,
Sher
Well, V's going through this, as you may know. It is so hard. Your MIL is a blessing, as is mine. And you are a blessing to her, too. I love family, too. How to get by without family and faith? I don't know...C
THANK YOU for posting this! I really like your blog!!
Common Cents
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com
ps. Would you like a Link Exchange?
This is the same situation that my grandmother has been working through. It is difficult for her to understand the changes that have been made for her. It looks like your MIL has a great family taking care of her.
What a great post.
So sorry to read about your MIL...hope she recovers quickly and get back to her place where she feels most comfortable.
Stop in for a visit. :)
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