The Jerry Springer Show

Hello my friends - Sorry I've been away. Things have been so busy around our household and I've not been able to do any posts. I've visited a few of you, but it's been very brief.

I think I've mentioned before that I manage two self-storage facilities along with helping out in a commercial construction office.  My main office is at the storage facility, and when you come in I am sitting in my office behind my desk.  I have a window with bars in it so I can talk to my customers in a bit of safety. They may not can reach me, but they sure could shoot me. I just try not to think about that. Well, I've been there nearly 8 years now, and I'm still okay.

Picture me, working at my computer, and in comes a customer.  Now, I'm not going to make fun of this lady, but I'm just going to tell you  exactly what happened on Friday afternoon. I'm just statin' facts and descriptions and my reactions here, K?  I felt like I was on the Jerry Springer Show!

Well, this lady came in - I say lady loosely - you know the emails that go around with the pictures of the Walmart people in them?  Well, this lady had to be an escapee from the video.  Probably about my age, but with long stringy dyed dark brown hair, very strange make-up, tight britches that looked like she had two pigs in a poke, lunch spilled all down the front of her shirt and chattering away on her cell phone.  Anyway, she wanted to check on an account that her live-in boyfriend had taken up with us about 3 years ago.  It was way past due and she wanted to make sure that we hadn't sold their stuff yet. I told her no, but that she'd have to get it all paid up before the next foreclosure sale or it would go into the sale. 

Then she freaked.  She started ranting and raving and telling me that all she owned was in the storage unit. That she was now living with her uncle and renting a room from him, cuz she was on Social Security and so was her boyfriend in Kansas.  I got a long drawn out sob story about how their account had gotten so far behind.  She was having a hard time talking and she kept putting her hand up to her mouth. Going on and on about her boyfriend had moved to Kansas to be near his kids cuz his ex-wife had moved up there to live with her l*sbian l*ver and she had custody of the kids, blah, blah, blah.

She's still messin' with her mouth.  All of a sudden, she shoves several fingers with dirty nails in her mouth and whoops her bottom dentures out and slams 'em down on my window sill above my desk!!!!!  Complete with spit string from her gums!!!  On the window sill where every body and their dog puts their hands, their keys, their purses, wallets, and money is passed over that sill many times a day!!!

"I hope that don't gross you out - I just got this new teeth and they don't fit right and I cain't hardly talk with 'em in", she said.  I didn't know what to say.  I just sat there like a complete goose while she kept rattling on and on.  In my 8 years there, I cannot believe what I'm seeing.   That's the weirdest and grossest thing that's ever happened up there at my office.  I'm flabbergasted.  Gross! Yuck! EEEWWWWWW!  I just don't have the words for it.

When she quit yappin', she picked up those nasty teeth and shoved 'em back into her mouth, germs and all.  I cain't tell you what all she said - it ain't fittin', it just ain't fittin'.  As soon as her tail was out the door, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom for my Lysol bleach cleaner and scrubbed the little pool of slobber off my windowsill BUT good.  Now, aren't you glad you stopped by my blog today?

Adam will be home in a few days for a few days. I'll be so glad to see him. He's been gone since Christmas and it's been way too long for this mama not to see her boy. My husband and a friend of his are going to take my 2 boys and the other guy's son to Arkansas on a fishin' trip next week.  I know they'll have fun. I plan on working on my garden, OR I may go see my seester for a couple of days.  We need to catch up! And bug my brother in law.  He's so fun to bug and embarrass!

I'm leaving you with a couple of pictures that have absolutely nothing to do with this post. But people like to look at pictures - I know I do - so here's a couple of big fellas that live down the road from the farm. I hope to have a couple of these guys on my place sometime. They're so... so... so TEXAS!

Keep that gown down!  See ya later ---